Weekend Human Contact Update

So far this weekend, the only humans I have spoken to in person have been my neighbor, some guy at Starbucks and various cashiers. I am going to make the following note to self, a life tip, a rule: No More Cashier Crushes. They are paid to be nice to everybody - - it’s not the case that they are being extra nice to me and me alone because they want to …ahem whatever. Cashier crushes have never worked out. Except once. Once when I was in high school, I flirted with a lady working at a toy store, and we went out on a few dates.

Why was I in the toy store? Because I saw her in there when I was walking by.

I have one current cashier crush that is worth mention. She is the manager at the CVS drugstore down the street where I sometimes pay way too much for cigarettes (I can get them at the Racetrack gas station much cheaper). But. The nice lady at CVS…she is so nice to me. But, she’s a runner. She runs half-marathons. Very fit and health conscious. My purchases of cigarettes and my chatty ways and my false assurances that I am about to quit smoking are not impressing to her at all. It’s a paradox. I have to keep buying cigarettes there in order to ‘run into her’ but my main point every time I talk to her is that I am about to quit. I can see the weariness in her face lately when I go in there. I'll go be sensible about my cigarette purchases (even though she gave me a discount card without making me fill out the application...and when I lost that one - she gave me another) Cashier crushes are pathetic (and possibly creepy. And kind of cruel: those people gotta work there, they can‘t escape the flirting and badgering). I’m done with it...even if the cashier calls me ‘honey’ -like the super cute and tatooed cashier at the Walgreens drugstore near work.

It’s clear that my instances of human contact, normal human contact, are far too few.