There are women at work who used to be really friendly with me. This was back when I was in a committed relationship, and it was clear that I was in a committed relationship. Lately, though, as the news of my divorce makes its way through the grapevine, I've noticed that some of these women have become distant. (Maybe I'm imagining it. This is a definite possibility with me...that I'm imagining it...and imagining other things...I'll save 'Imaginary Problems' for another blog post).
I think that these women are worried: They worry that, now that I am single, I will start to see our friendship as more than a friendship, and that I'll start to 'develop other kinds of feelings' ...and that I'll start hitting on them . . . and to tell you the truth, I am not entirely sure that they are wrong!
But. Restraint. I can't go work being a disgusting pig, hitting on all the women. I'm a little surprised (or not) that these women think that I would go around work being a disgusting pig, hitting on all of them (if that's what they think). Who knows. Maybe they're just really busy (I know I am). Maybe they have their own troubles, and they don't feel like hearing me complain about mine, Poor me, my wife left me. Maybe I'm generally seen as a leper and a pariah at work for all kinds of reasons that I'm not even aware of...divorce is just the latest reason to avoid me. Maybe I think too much. Sometimes I think so much, I get these headaches.
This was so funny and so true, and although I am female and a good bit older than you (so it seems) I will tell you that I have had the same conversations and sub-conversations in my head too. Great post, really truly.
ReplyDeletewell, maybe they have to figure out how to categorize you now. Or maybe they're not capable of dealing with your loss yet. People can be pretty shallow.
ReplyDeleteI tend to over-think situations a great deal, as well. I try to come up with every possible scenario, thinking them through to the bitter end. It's not healthy, but it keeps me busy. I always have to remind myself, when I think someone is avoiding me for whatever reason, that is really isn't about ME. It's about HIM/HER. Keep that in mind.
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